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“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Last week I wrote about my son’s struggle with his grades during his first semester in college. His failure to focus on his classwork has resulted in a major obstacle for him as he moves forward on the college track. My son is eighteen and this was the first big mistake of his life. It was a failure to live up to his potential that has the power to change the course of his life in a negative way. But, depending on how he handles himself during the second semester, he could actually benefit from this failure.
When I spoke with my son last Friday, he revealed that he had discussed the issue of his grades with one of his wise and knowledgeable grandfathers. His grandfather responded to my son’s new attempt at being open with the declaration that it would be “almost impossible” for his grandson to return to college in the fall even if he pulls his grades up. Merriam-Webster defines impossible as “incapable of being or of occurring.” I think it is fair to say that was the wrong word to use in this situation. My son is not the first person to blow it during his freshmen year. Plenty of people before him have proved that it is not impossible to complete college after mucking up one semester. Way to cheer on the home team, Dad. The reality is this: If my son truly wants to bring his grades up and eventually graduate, he can make that happen.
Standing tall and solid in my role as the estranged and defiant daughter, I instructed my son to ignore the comment and maybe accidentally, on purpose, miss some of his grandparent’s phone calls for the rest of the semester so that he can stay positive and focused on his mission. Then I told him the most important thing he needed to know: I believe in him.
Failure is often viewed as a dirty word. Fear of failure stops people from even attempting to achieve a goal or a dream. It is certainly true that you cannot fail if you do not try, but what kind of life is that? Theodore Roosevelt said it quite nicely: “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” It’s easy to criticize someone who has tried and failed when you spend most of your free time on the couch watching TV in your old, tattered robe, holding a rum and coke in one hand while scratching your ass with the other.
Failure is one of our greatest teachers when we allow it to be. It makes us think more deeply about our behaviors and perceptions. Failure challenges us to change. It forces us to make choices. As a forty-one-year old woman, I have failed a number of times in school, in jobs, and in marriage (twice). As a writer I am intimate with failure. Every rejection letter that make sit to my door step or inbox is very much like being kicked in the gut. But I’m still writing. I know from experience that failure opens the door for second, third, even fourth and fifth chances. We simply have to be willing to try as many times as it takes to achieve our goals.
“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.” – Benjamin Franklin
Even though my son’s grandfather has spoken defeat over his immediate future, I am doing the opposite. I am claiming victory for my son because of the confidence I heard in his voice on Friday; because of my knowledge of his talents and intelligence. And because I know that failure is our greatest teacher. We learn our biggest lessons when we are faced with adversity. The benefits of failure have the potential to birth amazing rewards as long as we continue to push forward and try our very best.
“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” Dale Carnegie, writer
-Melissa Brown Levine
www.melissabrownlevine.com
Last week I wrote about my son’s struggle with his grades during his first semester in college. His failure to focus on his classwork has resulted in a major obstacle for him as he moves forward on the college track. My son is eighteen and this was the first big mistake of his life. It was a failure to live up to his potential that has the power to change the course of his life in a negative way. But, depending on how he handles himself during the second semester, he could actually benefit from this failure.
When I spoke with my son last Friday, he revealed that he had discussed the issue of his grades with one of his wise and knowledgeable grandfathers. His grandfather responded to my son’s new attempt at being open with the declaration that it would be “almost impossible” for his grandson to return to college in the fall even if he pulls his grades up. Merriam-Webster defines impossible as “incapable of being or of occurring.” I think it is fair to say that was the wrong word to use in this situation. My son is not the first person to blow it during his freshmen year. Plenty of people before him have proved that it is not impossible to complete college after mucking up one semester. Way to cheer on the home team, Dad. The reality is this: If my son truly wants to bring his grades up and eventually graduate, he can make that happen.
Standing tall and solid in my role as the estranged and defiant daughter, I instructed my son to ignore the comment and maybe accidentally, on purpose, miss some of his grandparent’s phone calls for the rest of the semester so that he can stay positive and focused on his mission. Then I told him the most important thing he needed to know: I believe in him.
Failure is often viewed as a dirty word. Fear of failure stops people from even attempting to achieve a goal or a dream. It is certainly true that you cannot fail if you do not try, but what kind of life is that? Theodore Roosevelt said it quite nicely: “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” It’s easy to criticize someone who has tried and failed when you spend most of your free time on the couch watching TV in your old, tattered robe, holding a rum and coke in one hand while scratching your ass with the other.
Failure is one of our greatest teachers when we allow it to be. It makes us think more deeply about our behaviors and perceptions. Failure challenges us to change. It forces us to make choices. As a forty-one-year old woman, I have failed a number of times in school, in jobs, and in marriage (twice). As a writer I am intimate with failure. Every rejection letter that make sit to my door step or inbox is very much like being kicked in the gut. But I’m still writing. I know from experience that failure opens the door for second, third, even fourth and fifth chances. We simply have to be willing to try as many times as it takes to achieve our goals.
“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.” – Benjamin Franklin
Even though my son’s grandfather has spoken defeat over his immediate future, I am doing the opposite. I am claiming victory for my son because of the confidence I heard in his voice on Friday; because of my knowledge of his talents and intelligence. And because I know that failure is our greatest teacher. We learn our biggest lessons when we are faced with adversity. The benefits of failure have the potential to birth amazing rewards as long as we continue to push forward and try our very best.
“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” Dale Carnegie, writer
-Melissa Brown Levine
www.melissabrownlevine.com
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