Excerpt from I Need to Make Promises
“Keith Olbermann is hot.”
Lori made her observations to the recording of the Monday night edition of MSNBC’s Countdown as the host delivered an emotional monologue about the vote in California opposing gay marriage.
“I told you, girl. Keith is my boy. I like how emotional he gets. And he is rockin’ that burnt orange tie.” Janella gleefully offered her two cents.
“Girl hush, I’m the one who turned you on to him. You didn’t even know the news came on this time of the night. And you didn’t know how to use your DVR either.” Viva and Lori screamed with laughter as Janella cursed them all.
The women were assembled, but not all in the flesh. Viva and Lori were propped up in Viva’s bed against several stacks of pillows, each cradling a cordless phone. Susan and Janella were on three-way.
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“He’s cute and funny,” Susan added in between chuckles and Janella’s hot tongue. “And he’s smart. I love a smart man.”
“I do too, Susan. And he’s passionate. He’s a little subdued now because he’s talking about gay marriage and letting everybody love and all that, but you can tell he’s got fire.” Viva’s eyes were glued to the flat screen mounted on the wall across from her bed. She was dressed for sleep in an oversized t-shirt she had swiped from one of her ex-husbands, a pair of black yoga pants, and mandatory socks. She’d manipulated her hair into two-strand twists the night before and was absently twirling them between her fingers as she watched her favorite news guy. “You know he’s my boo, right Susan? So, if you’re thinking about going back to your home team, take Keith off your list.”
“Girl, Susan is stuck on black men, she ain’t going back. Have you seen the new guy?” Lori sat deeper into the pillows and curled her legs behind her. She was still in work clothes. After a late meeting at her high school followed by dinner with her husband and their eight-year-old son, Nate, Lori dropped by Viva’s to check on her. It was Friday night and they had not spoken much that week. Outside of work and wine nights, Viva was keeping to herself and that concerned Lori. Susan was also concerned even though her girls kept her so busy with their extracurricular activities that she was often envious of Viva’s leisurely lifestyle. Janella, on the other hand, didn’t have any concerns at all about Viva’s solitary life. “The woman spent twenty-one of her forty-five-years on this earth married. She hasn’t been by herself. Leave her alone.”
“Susan doesn’t let me meet her men. She’s scared I’ll marry them.”
“Viva, stop,” Susan yelled into the phone, “that’s not true. I’m not serious about anybody, so there’s no reason for you guys to meet anyone. “
“Oh, it could be true,” Lori offered. Her attention had moved from the obviously disturbed and sincere commentator making his case for universal love, to Viva’s fixed gaze. “She would marry Keith if she could get to him.”
“I could probably arrange that.” The smile in Janella’s voice pulled Viva out of her trance.
“Janella, don’t you dare tell me you know him and you didn’t say anything.”
“Viva, when have I not name dropped, sweetie? I don’t know him, but I’m sure I know someone who does. I’m sure I could connect y’all if you want.
There’s a girlfriend in the picture, but my understanding is that she doesn’t have a ring. So I would take that as meaning the path to Keith is wide open. You want me to hook you up?”
“Hell, yeah!”
“No!”
Viva and Lori entered into a quiet stare down, the phones still attached to their ears. Lori was in full grown-up mode outfitted in a black, calf length skirt and red, silk blouse. She’d left her pumps and suit jacket at the chair just inside the bedroom door and was sporting a pair of Viva’s fuzzy, fuchsia slippers.
“You’re on a man-fast, remember? Janella, you are not allowed, under any circumstances, to match-make for Viva until further notice. Do you hear me?”
“No, Janella, don’t listen to her. You work your contacts girl and get me in touch with Keith. I need to see how all that passion gets worked out in the bedroom.”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Lori kicked Viva’s foot and used her free hand to wrestle the remote control from her. “Give me that.” Lori ripped the remote from Viva’s grasp. “Now, try and take it back and see what happens.” Lori glared at her friend then flipped through the channels and landed on an old episode of Law and Order. “Janella, do not put this woman in contact with Keith Olbermann. She hasn’t done any real work yet and she’ll just resort to the same old, self-destructive habits. Quit, Viva! I promise you, I will hit you in the face with this remote if you don’t stop!”
“Now, now, girls, play nice,” Susan giggled. “Viva, you know Lori is right. You’re supposed to be giving yourself some time to be alone. You just announced this not even two weeks ago. Did you forget?”
“No, I didn’t forget. I love Keith, Susan. Lori, I just want to meet him one time. Pleeease.”
Lori handed Viva the remote then held her hands up in surrender. “You do what you want to do, Viva. You’re grown. All I have to say about it is you need to get off that sidewalk.”
Viva clutched the remote, aimed it at the television, and pressed the mute button. It was Susan who had sent out the Portia Nelson poem “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk” at the beginning of the year to inspire each one of the women to stay on track. They all had goals; they each wanted to transform their lives. And walking down a different street on a different sidewalk was the only way that was going to happen.
“That’s not fair, Lori. I just want to meet the man and Janella can make that happen.”
“And you know what will happen if you meet Mr. Keith Olbermann? I’ll tell you.” Lori adjusted her position so that she faced Viva. “You will be sweet and accommodating. You’ll find out what he likes to eat and cook it for him. You’ll learn his favorite color and drape your body in it from head to toe. And you’ll take every one of those degrees you have and hide them under the nearest rock so you can appear to be the demure, quiet, submissive type.” Lori snatched the remote back and hit the necessary buttons. Keith’s voice floated lightly in the air between them again.
“I wouldn’t have to do that with him; he’s smart and appreciates intelligent women.”
“And you’re a smart, intelligent woman, Viva, who doesn’t appreciate herself. You make yourself small for men and sacrifice to the point of martyrdom; whether the man you are pursuing requires that from you or not.”
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Copyright 2011 Melissa Brown Levine
Lori made her observations to the recording of the Monday night edition of MSNBC’s Countdown as the host delivered an emotional monologue about the vote in California opposing gay marriage.
“I told you, girl. Keith is my boy. I like how emotional he gets. And he is rockin’ that burnt orange tie.” Janella gleefully offered her two cents.
“Girl hush, I’m the one who turned you on to him. You didn’t even know the news came on this time of the night. And you didn’t know how to use your DVR either.” Viva and Lori screamed with laughter as Janella cursed them all.
The women were assembled, but not all in the flesh. Viva and Lori were propped up in Viva’s bed against several stacks of pillows, each cradling a cordless phone. Susan and Janella were on three-way.
Buy this book:
Amazon
“He’s cute and funny,” Susan added in between chuckles and Janella’s hot tongue. “And he’s smart. I love a smart man.”
“I do too, Susan. And he’s passionate. He’s a little subdued now because he’s talking about gay marriage and letting everybody love and all that, but you can tell he’s got fire.” Viva’s eyes were glued to the flat screen mounted on the wall across from her bed. She was dressed for sleep in an oversized t-shirt she had swiped from one of her ex-husbands, a pair of black yoga pants, and mandatory socks. She’d manipulated her hair into two-strand twists the night before and was absently twirling them between her fingers as she watched her favorite news guy. “You know he’s my boo, right Susan? So, if you’re thinking about going back to your home team, take Keith off your list.”
“Girl, Susan is stuck on black men, she ain’t going back. Have you seen the new guy?” Lori sat deeper into the pillows and curled her legs behind her. She was still in work clothes. After a late meeting at her high school followed by dinner with her husband and their eight-year-old son, Nate, Lori dropped by Viva’s to check on her. It was Friday night and they had not spoken much that week. Outside of work and wine nights, Viva was keeping to herself and that concerned Lori. Susan was also concerned even though her girls kept her so busy with their extracurricular activities that she was often envious of Viva’s leisurely lifestyle. Janella, on the other hand, didn’t have any concerns at all about Viva’s solitary life. “The woman spent twenty-one of her forty-five-years on this earth married. She hasn’t been by herself. Leave her alone.”
“Susan doesn’t let me meet her men. She’s scared I’ll marry them.”
“Viva, stop,” Susan yelled into the phone, “that’s not true. I’m not serious about anybody, so there’s no reason for you guys to meet anyone. “
“Oh, it could be true,” Lori offered. Her attention had moved from the obviously disturbed and sincere commentator making his case for universal love, to Viva’s fixed gaze. “She would marry Keith if she could get to him.”
“I could probably arrange that.” The smile in Janella’s voice pulled Viva out of her trance.
“Janella, don’t you dare tell me you know him and you didn’t say anything.”
“Viva, when have I not name dropped, sweetie? I don’t know him, but I’m sure I know someone who does. I’m sure I could connect y’all if you want.
There’s a girlfriend in the picture, but my understanding is that she doesn’t have a ring. So I would take that as meaning the path to Keith is wide open. You want me to hook you up?”
“Hell, yeah!”
“No!”
Viva and Lori entered into a quiet stare down, the phones still attached to their ears. Lori was in full grown-up mode outfitted in a black, calf length skirt and red, silk blouse. She’d left her pumps and suit jacket at the chair just inside the bedroom door and was sporting a pair of Viva’s fuzzy, fuchsia slippers.
“You’re on a man-fast, remember? Janella, you are not allowed, under any circumstances, to match-make for Viva until further notice. Do you hear me?”
“No, Janella, don’t listen to her. You work your contacts girl and get me in touch with Keith. I need to see how all that passion gets worked out in the bedroom.”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Lori kicked Viva’s foot and used her free hand to wrestle the remote control from her. “Give me that.” Lori ripped the remote from Viva’s grasp. “Now, try and take it back and see what happens.” Lori glared at her friend then flipped through the channels and landed on an old episode of Law and Order. “Janella, do not put this woman in contact with Keith Olbermann. She hasn’t done any real work yet and she’ll just resort to the same old, self-destructive habits. Quit, Viva! I promise you, I will hit you in the face with this remote if you don’t stop!”
“Now, now, girls, play nice,” Susan giggled. “Viva, you know Lori is right. You’re supposed to be giving yourself some time to be alone. You just announced this not even two weeks ago. Did you forget?”
“No, I didn’t forget. I love Keith, Susan. Lori, I just want to meet him one time. Pleeease.”
Lori handed Viva the remote then held her hands up in surrender. “You do what you want to do, Viva. You’re grown. All I have to say about it is you need to get off that sidewalk.”
Viva clutched the remote, aimed it at the television, and pressed the mute button. It was Susan who had sent out the Portia Nelson poem “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk” at the beginning of the year to inspire each one of the women to stay on track. They all had goals; they each wanted to transform their lives. And walking down a different street on a different sidewalk was the only way that was going to happen.
“That’s not fair, Lori. I just want to meet the man and Janella can make that happen.”
“And you know what will happen if you meet Mr. Keith Olbermann? I’ll tell you.” Lori adjusted her position so that she faced Viva. “You will be sweet and accommodating. You’ll find out what he likes to eat and cook it for him. You’ll learn his favorite color and drape your body in it from head to toe. And you’ll take every one of those degrees you have and hide them under the nearest rock so you can appear to be the demure, quiet, submissive type.” Lori snatched the remote back and hit the necessary buttons. Keith’s voice floated lightly in the air between them again.
“I wouldn’t have to do that with him; he’s smart and appreciates intelligent women.”
“And you’re a smart, intelligent woman, Viva, who doesn’t appreciate herself. You make yourself small for men and sacrifice to the point of martyrdom; whether the man you are pursuing requires that from you or not.”
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Copyright 2011 Melissa Brown Levine
